I notice two major things going on around me as I move through my day: 1) Nonstop judgement and 2) The feeling that we are not good enough just as we are. I want to talk about these two things here and now.
First of all, I'll start by saying that I am guilty of both of these things. The difference between me now and me, say, this time last year is that I am much more aware of them when they happen to me and also I have retuned the voice in my head to respond to both appropriately.
One thing I see so much of as a stay-at-home-mom is judgement. I think as human beings it is normal for us to judge what we see around us as a way of assessing our world. What I tend to see, however, is the judgement of people around us and ourselves. I saw a mother in the store the other day pushing a cart with 2 kids, one of which was throwing a major, knock down, drag out tantrum. Two young women (my guess is they were in their 20s) walked by her and after passing by, gave each other this look that involved a whole lot of eye rolling. Now I have to say, that could easily have been me in my 20s and I can guarantee you that when I was their age, I had no idea what it was like to be a mother with a screaming child in a department store. But their judgement was there. I just thought in my head as I passed by the woman with the child, "Oh, I've been their sister and it is just no fun when your child decides that Target is the best place to make their displeasure known." But I've also been guilty of the judgement too. One of the areas I struggle with is judging the moms who plop their kids down in front of iPads for extensive periods of time or while they are getting their grocery shopping in. Now, I'm not saying kids should be sitting in front of iPads for hours on end. But maybe that mom worked really hard all day at a thankless job and she had to get the food shopping done after work and the only way to do that was with her kids who are tired and cranky at the end of their day and said mom just needed a half hour of peace and quiet.
I'm also not saying we should ignore someone's parenting choices if they are abusive or neglectful. Or someone's life choices if they are hurting others.
We just have to remind ourselves that there is always more to the story than what we see. We have to remember that most of the time, everyone is doing the best they can with what they have. And that goes for us too! Stop beating yourself up all the time because you had a piece of cake or didn't eat a single healthy thing today. Tomorrow is a new day! Just bring your awareness to the situation and do the best you can tomorrow.
The other thing I see is people feeling like they are not enough in this world. And is there any wonder why? We are constantly bombarded with messages saying we need certain material things in order to "be our best." That's what advertising is all about. "Buy this and you will be ______." We also see things on social media that can make us think we are not enough. You know that friend who always posts on Facebook all the fun things they are doing (all the time, I might add) or the exotic locations they are visiting or the super genius things their kids are doing? The more you read that kind of stuff, the more you can begin to wonder about your "not-as-exciting-as-that-friend's" life.
Well guess what. All that stuff is crap. You are enough. Your life is enough. You don't have to buy anything to be enough. All we can do is work at being a good person, being kind to others, listening to others and being a good friend. And wherever you are at right now, just by showing up, you are enough.
Word!
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